Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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