McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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