actually, I'm a sock model
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
