Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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