windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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