last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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