Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
