do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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