nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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