Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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