I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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