Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Even my vagina gasped.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
