At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize