That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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