My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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