Joe is yelling at the trees again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize