Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
