D3 body, D1 cock
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
