Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
