I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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