one might say we're banned from that church
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
