There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
