He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
