I didn't shave. On purpose
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
