I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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