Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
