I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
