What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
