I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just fell off a train. Bad.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
