Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
