I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
