i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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