Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
