why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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