drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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