All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
