Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
