Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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