if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
