I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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