Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We don't watch enough power rangers
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
