I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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