Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize