I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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