Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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