Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
