You made me cry and you don't even care
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
