Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
