The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
