ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
