I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
