All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
