I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im holly from the hills drunk
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
