eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
