dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
