So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
