oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
